Monday, June 22, 2009

midnight thoughts

it is midnight.
i should be in bed.
i have to get up at 5 am to leave for girls camp.
why do i always want to pull late-nighters the night before camp?

i am going as a stake leader.
am i really old enough and capable to be a leader?
i'm worried i won't know the balance between being fun and doing my job.

it doesn't seem like camp unless i go to the store to get last minute things.
as i was driving around tonight, i realized that this is the first time i will be going to camp without any of my sisters. what am i going to do? i won't have brandon either. this is the first time since germany that i will be doing something alone. i usually don't get scared for things, but i admit, i'm a little nervous.

tonight brandon and i had an fhe lesson about "lower lights" inspired by a tribute written after my childhood best friend's father passed away recently...

"A few years after the Civil War, enacting a tragedy that had occurred hundreds of mournful times throughout the nineteenth century, a steamboat on Lake Erie sank on its approach to the Port of Cleveland. Though the main lighthouse was operating normally, for uncertain reasons the lower lights—flames kept by houses along the banks to illuminate the location of channels and treacherous parts of the shoreline—were not visible to the ship’s crew. Unable to see the dark shore, the steamboat struck ground and sank, with significant loss of life.

In the aftermath of the Cleveland steamboat tragedy, the mega-evangelist Dwight Moody reflected to his bard Philip Bliss that these lower lights were the lights individual Christians were to keep. These would be small, weak, pale compared to the Light of the Savior, but without them our sisters and brothers might perish even as they approached the brighter light of the lighthouse."

jetta's dad was a lower light to many.

i have been thinking about this concept so much lately and am SO thankful for the 'lower lights' who have inspired and lifted me lately...

{my cute and festive cousin Cindy}

{my sister emily}

{brandon's family--especially his parents-- & cute new baby kate}

{becky and annette}

{my husband}

{p.s. this is not a new member of our family...he was just a house guest for one night last weekend. i know. its strange to believe that ME (the girl who would run inside the house if there was a dog across the street) would let a dog sleep in our house. it was actually really fun, but nice to have him leave. }

so there are my thoughts. thank you for being the lower lights i have needed lately to gain a new, fresh perspective on life --and the boost i need!



Dean, Andrea, and Tanner said...

Good luck at camp! I guess you're probably already gone. I understand how you're feeling. I really don't know ANYONE in our Stake and I'm not even in YW's so I don't know all the girls very well either. Let me know how it goes! And thanks for being a lower light in my life!!

Michal Thompson said...

Don't worry, I bet you were great at camp- i was a stake leader after my freshman year of college. That is what you are supposed to do- play hard and work hard. Thanks for sharing that with us. You are an inspiration to all of us of being a lower light!

Dean, Andrea, and Tanner said...

Oh p.s. You had a D-O-G at your house!?!? I remember throwing kittens on you at Amanda's to freak you out. And when a dog showed up at soccer practice and you were SO terrified. Ha! You've come a LONG way! That is a pretty cute dog though so maybe this was just an exception.

Tiffany said...

Hey, I found your blog! The picture of you and emily is really cute. I also love the coffee table you repainted!!